


Submit

by justforirishx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, BDSM, BDSM event, Daddy Kink, Depression, Dom Liam Payne, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Liam, Polyamory Negotiations, Protective Liam, Set around the time of Four, description of Rape, moody Zayn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-03-03 03:00:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13332075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justforirishx/pseuds/justforirishx
Summary: It’s a feeling she couldn’t explainIt was a feeling she couldn’t fulfil on her ownShe was craving it.If only the right person would come along.





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> So I got the idea for this fic the other day when I was on the plane. I identify as a submissive/little myself and some of the feelings I have referenced are ones I am actually feeling myself at the moment. 
> 
> I'm trying to be a lot more descriptive with my stories, I've realised I am lacking description when it comes to my characters and their personalities and thoughts so I'm trying to do more of that. Let me know what you think :)

_It takes a certain kind of person to be able to submit their body to another person and give up all control. I’ve always been a submissive person, in every aspect of my life, the only place I wasn’t was my work. It was the only time I had to put on a mask and pretend I was dominant and in control. A lot of people fell for that mask too, especially my friends. The select few who I told were always surprised when I told them about this secret side of myself. I would never give my submission to just anyone however, it had to be earnt or at least discussed. I made that mistake once before when I was nineteen and naïve and trusted someone I shouldn’t have and he did something that I will never ever forgive nor forget. There was one drawback however, to being a single submissive, not having someone to submit to. It’s all I wanted. I wanted someone to take control, let me not think for a while and just focus on what was happening at the time. I needed someone to please, someone to punish me and push my limits but more than anything, I wanted the aftercare that came afterwards; cuddles, my hair being played with, someone whispering sweet nothings into my ear and giving me a nice hot bath and looking after me. I craved that feeling more than a lot of people realised._

I walked into work one Friday morning, dressed in a casual pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I worked for Sony Records working with their artists in the recording studio as a sound engineer and producer. I grew up with a love of music, it was always something I enjoyed. My Dad had old records playing in the house all the time, especially Bob Dylan and he made me take piano, guitar and singing lessons. My Dad worked as a music teacher but back when he was at university he used to be in a pub band. When I was in high school, I became interested in becoming a sound engineer and did a course at the tech college instead of finishing high school when I was sixteen and when I was finished I scored an internship at Sony and worked my ring off to get a full time job with them by the time I was nineteen. I’ve worked with some of the most incredible artists; Nick Jonas, Demi Lovato, U2, Sia, P!nk, Ronan Keating and plenty more. Today I was finally getting to work with One Direction. I had been a fan of their music since their second album. They were now onto their fourth album and there was a lot riding on this album so they only wanted to work with reliable producers. I had met the One Direction boys at work events fleetingly but I finally was able to get a chance to get to know them. My job as a producer came along after helping out Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato one day with a song and they sung my praises to the powers that be and they sent me off to do some courses and workshops and I became a producer as well as a sound engineer. I was making decent money for a twenty-two year old compared to my friends. 

Once I got into my allocated studio for the day, I set up all my equipment, powered up the computers, checked the microphones and headphones. Today was going to be more of a song writing day but from what I had been told, Louis Tomlinson and Liam Payne seemed to be the dynamic duo when it came to One Direction’s song writing and always came very prepared with copious amounts of songs to try. About half an hour later there was a knock on the studio door and Simon Cowell walked in. I knew Simon well but he still scared the crap out of me, even after knowing him for three years. 

“Hi Mr Cowell,” I said standing up and going to shake his hand and then all the One Direction boys walked in. The butterflies started straight away. I don’t usually get all gushy with artists I work with. The only real exceptions to that were Sia and P!nk and that’s because I absolutely idolised their music and was so excited to work with them.  
“Alex, hi. These are the One Direction lads. This is Niall, Louis, Harry, Zayn and Liam,” Simon replied introducing me one by one to the boys and I shook each of their hands. “Boys, this is Alex Lucas. You’re in safe hands with her.” Simon then walked out of the studio, leaving me with just the boys.   
“It’s really nice to meet you guys, I’m a massive fan of your music,” I gushed.  
They laughed, “Thanks love. We’re really looking forward to working with you, Simon has told us a lot about you.” Liam reassured me.  
“Only good things I hope,” I replied, feeling a blush fall across my cheeks.  
“Of course,” Harry replied with a smile.  
“So, boys , what is a day in the studio like for you?” I asked. “Louis and Liam, I’ve heard you two are the dynamic song writing duo.”  
“We like to think we are,” Louis laughed. “A usual studio day for us is playing things for each other, bouncing lyric ideas off each other. You’ll probably think we’re goofing off with each other but I promise we aren’t, it’s just our process.”  
“Don’t worry, there’s no judgement here.”  
“Well, I guess we should make a start hey?” Liam encouraged.  
“You’ll find Liam is the responsible one,” Niall joked.  
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” I smiled.  


Once the boys all got settled in the studio, Liam pulled out his laptop and played a demo he had put together and once we had all heard it a few times, we started throwing ideas around the room, sometimes talking over the top of each other but every single suggestion was always taken into account. 

We smashed out a good twelve hours in the studio, breaking every now and then so Louis, Zayn and Liam could go for a smoke and we could eat and just get out of the studio for a bit. I really liked the way they worked together and bounced off each other. Although I found Zayn wasn’t overly expressive with his suggestions and tended to stay quiet and seemed quite unenthusiastic. Harry and Niall were always quick to try different suggestions and Niall was always strumming away at different chords on his guitar and humming a possible melody. Louis was constantly scribbling in his song writing notebook, editing any changes, Liam was recording different vocals and instruments to see how they sounded. By eight o’clock that night, we were well and truly exhausted and out of ideas for the day. So we decided to call it a day. As we packed up, Niall suggested we go to one of the pubs around the corner and grab a drink and some dinner. We all agreed, although Zayn disappeared and said he had to go home. 

We managed to find our way to the pub without anyone really noticing the boys and we found a booth at the back of the pub. Louis went up to get a jug of beer for us to share and Liam found us the dinner menu.  
“Alex, this has been one of the best studio days we have had in ages,” Harry said once we all had a drink in hand.  
“I really enjoyed it too, you guys work so well together.”  
“We’re sorry about Zayn, we’re having a few issues with him at the moment. He’s not as into it as he used to be and isn’t contributing as much as he used to,” Liam answered.  
“It’s fine, hopefully he finds his passion for it again hey?” I said reassuringly.  
“We hope so. It’s not that he doesn’t love music, just the whole boyband thing isn’t for him. He wants to do something R &B focused but Simon is trying to convince him to stick with it for a bit longer,” Niall replied. 

I was sitting in between Liam and Harry, but I got a certain vibe about Liam. One I knew well. He oozed dominance, he liked control and seemed to exercise that a lot in the studio, but he wasn’t arrogant. He was actually one of the most polite guys I had met in a long time. I was probably mistaken but hey it was just a vibe. 

Way too many beers later and not enough food, we were all gathered around a pool table egging each other one in our own tournament we had decided to play. I am the worst at pool when I’m drunk, my coordination goes out the window. I had tied my messy brown hair into a bun to get it out of my face and I was thankful that I had decided to wear jeans and not a dress to work for once. I was playing Harry in the first game. I had Liam helping me out with a few shots, as I leant over the table, he would lean in with me and help me direct the cue the right way and place his hand on top of mine. I looked up at him with a smile and laughed.  
“I am capable of making a shot,” I teased.  
“Can’t a man help a lady anymore?” Liam replied feigning hurt.  
“I guess you can, if you help me get this one in.”  
“Well make the shot Miss Lucas,” he replied.  
I took the shot, the white ball connecting with the red ball by the pocket and sinking the ball. “Thanks Payne.”  
“You’re welcome,” he replied. “Want to try the next one yourself?”  
“Okay.” I replied, going to line up the next shot and prove I could get a ball in without Liam’s help.  
I missed the shot, causing the white ball to be pocketed. I face palmed myself and laughed and told Liam maybe I did need his help.  
“Hey! That’s not fair!” Harry exclaimed.  
“Styles, you’re perfectly capable of winning on your own,” Liam teased.  


Harry ended up winning the game, the next one was between Liam and Louis. I took a seat with Niall while Harry watched their game.  
“I think Liam likes you,” Niall said bluntly.  
“What on earth makes you think that Niall?” I replied confused.  
“Liam doesn’t help just anyone when it comes to pool. Plus I saw the way you two were talking to each other while we were eating. Liam hasn’t held a conversation like that with a woman in a long time.”  
“That doesn’t mean he likes me Niall,” I replied.  
“Liam is me best mate, trust me, I know,” he winked.  


As the night continued, I kept watching for signals from Liam, he would throw the occasional smile my way or go and buy me a drink. I exchanged my number with all the guys by the end of the night and when it was finally time for me go to back to my flat in Soho, I hugged each of them goodbye, thanking them for a great day and night. It was three in the morning by the time we left. They made sure I got into an Uber before they did so they knew I was okay. When I got home I found a text from each of the guys saying thank you. I went to bed with the biggest smile on my face. 

_Saturdays were always my day, I never work on Saturday. It’s just a rule I’ve always had. I don’t mind working Sundays, it gets me set for the week ahead. Saturdays are my relaxing day. I do something that I want to do. Saturday nights were always a favourite of mine, especially when there were BDSM events on that I had planned to go to. I never play, it’s more just to meet people. I’ve met the most interesting people at events of all different ages and in all different professions. I had planned to go to an exclusive event in Primrose Hill at a club. I had been offered an invite by a dominant friend of mine, not as his submissive but just as a friend. I couldn’t pass it up. The exclusive parties were always the most interesting and you always learnt something you never expected to and no one ever talked about what happened outside of the event. Being discreet meant everything at these events._

I had a very quiet day, just napping, listening to music and recovering from the hangover from the night before with the lads. I had been having banter back and forth with Niall most of the day about different bands and exchanging stupid jokes with each other. 

At about seven o’clock in the evening, I had a shower and did my makeup ready for the event. I usually wore pretty simple make up to an event, and I always wore pink lipstick. I thought it made me look more innocent and submissive than red lipstick. I tied my hair into a messy bun and then made my way into my bedroom to pick out my outfit. I usually hate dressing up but I always loved getting dressed for events. The exclusive events always had a high expectation for dress code. I found a little black dress that I like that was rather form fitting, and put on a pair of black thigh high stockings. I chose my favourite pair of lacy underwear but no bra. I found my favourite black high heels, even though they always killed by feet by the end of the night and put them on. I chose my day collar that I bought for myself, it was my way of identifying myself as a submissive at these events. It looked more like a simple necklace. When I had a dominant I always wore more statement collars which made it obvious that I owned. I found my ticket for the event and put it into my clutch along with my phone and wallet and ordered an Uber and made my way to the club. 

_I never really got nervous before events, if I’m honest it’s where I felt most comfortable. I knew nothing bad could happen to me with so many people around. Although the exclusive events always did give me slight butterflies, especially when I felt like I looked extremely second rate compared to other women there who looked much more experienced and comfortable in their skin than I did._

I made my way into the club, I checked in my clutch, you weren’t allowed phones in the club for privacy reasons. When I walked through the curtains into the main part of the club there were about fifty people in the room, some sitting talking, others were dancing, and there were some rooms off to the side where scenes were taking place. I walked around, looking for my Dom friend, but he mustn’t have been here yet. I went to the bar, sat on a stool and ordered a drink while I waited. Someone came up beside me as I took a sip of the vodka lime and soda I had ordered and ordered a Bacardi and coke. I didn’t look to see who it was until I heard my name.  
“Hi Alex,” the person said.  
I looked over and saw Liam standing there, dressed in black jeans and a grey button up shirt and he had the most amazing scent. Cigarettes mixed with some expensive aftershave. He had his hair styled. He was oozing confidence too. My hunch was right!  
“L-Liam, hi.” I stuttered out.  
“I never would have picked you to be in the scene,” he replied intrigued.  
“I’ve been told that a few times.”  
“Dom or sub?” he asked.  
“Submissive,” I replied. “You?”  
“Dominant through and through, with a sadistic side,” he chuckled.  
“The best kind of Dom,” I answered with a wink. “If you find the right one.”  
“Are you with anyone?” he asked before taking a sip of his drink.  
“No, just myself. One of my Dom friends invited me but he’s not here yet.”  
“Well do you want to stick with me?” he asked.  
“Are you playing?” I asked hesitantly.  
“I wasn’t planning to, I was here more for the social aspect tonight. Are you?”  
“I don’t really play at events when I’m single. I don’t trust some of the Doms I’ve met at these things.”  
“I completely understand, well stick with me hey and I’ll look after you.”  
“I’ve never been one to mix work and the scene.”  
“I’m not your boss Alex, there’s nothing wrong with it. And I won’t tell if you won’t,” Liam smiled.  
“Your secret is safe with me Liam.”  
“The lads know but let’s avoid the press finding out hey?” he replied.  
“I won’t say a word, I swear.”  
“Come on then, let’s go and have a wander around,” Liam said taking my hand that wasn’t holding my drink.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING - mentions of Rape.

The first room Liam took me to there was a female submissive who was bound with ropes on a bed. Her dominant was kneeling beside her and had a wand vibrating up her thigh, very quickly touching her pussy then moving away. Just watching it turned me on, I crossed my legs slightly as Liam and I stood and watched, hoping Liam might not notice. I felt a hand on the small of my back and looked at Liam who smiled at me. “Are you okay?” he mouthed.  
I nodded and swallowed hard.   
We stood watching the scene play out for a little while longer, then Liam led me back to the bar and we got another drink and found a booth where we could talk.

“So what got you into the lifestyle?” Liam asked.   
“You’re going to laugh at me but I read Fifty Shades of Grey when I was eighteen and I was curious. So, I researched it more and I’ve always been a submissive person, so it just made sense that I would identify as one. Once I got into the scene, it became much more of a stress relief for me. I just forget about everything for a while, well if it’s a Dom I can trust,” I explained. “How did you get into it?”   
“Well I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, I was a bit of an idiot. But when I got older I found vanilla sex to be so boring. So like you, I did a bit of research and realised I was a dominant so I started to explore it, just as things were taking off with the boys. Although it was hard to find a sub as an eighteen year old because everyone thinks you’re inexperienced and I looked much too boyish back then. Now that I’m twenty-one, I think women take me a lot more seriously and the fact I’ve got a bit more experience now too, I feel much more confident in myself as a Dom,” Liam replied, running his finger around the rim of the glass he was drinking from.   
“Well from the moment I met you, I thought you oozed dominance. I was actually curious yesterday about whether you were one or not. It turns out I was right,” I laughed.   
“Your Dom radar must be good. So you don’t have a Dom at the moment?” Liam asked.   
“No, I’ve been single for about a year and I haven’t played for that long either. But more than ever I’ve been craving it. I’ve never felt the urge this strongly before but I want to be wary about the person I submit to. I’ve had a bad experience before and I’m worried about that happening again.”   
“Can I ask what happened?” Liam asked worriedly. You could see the look of concern on his face and he put his hand out to touch mine.   
“I’ve never really told anyone,’ I responded, looking down at my hands.   
“It stays between us, I promise. Only if you want to though,” Liam reassured me.   
“When I was nineteen, I went out with a guy who was thirteen years older than me. He claimed he was a Dom and because I hadn’t had much real life experience, I thought what he was doing was normal. He was really into public sex, like in parks. I wasn’t but I didn’t want to be disobedient or let him down. Anyway, one night he took us to a park and I thought it would be just the two of us. But at least ten other guys showed up, they were all circled around us while we were having sex. I begged for him to stop, I cried and I safe worded but he didn’t stop,” I explained, I could feel tears welling in my eyes. “When it was all over I was so angry and upset. He betrayed my trust. When I told him he had raped me he said that I had consented and it wasn’t rape. I broke it off with him but kept quiet about it for a long time. One night I told my best friend and her boyfriend was a police officer and he told me it was rape and that he could help me take out an AVO against him. I told him it wasn’t worth it, I blocked him on everything and haven’t seen him since. But that’s why I’m so wary about who I play with now.”   
“That’s horrible Alex! What a low life piece of scum! You should have reported the fucker, but I understand why you did it. So why do you go to events then?” he asked curiously.   
“I like meeting like minded people, and I like seeing how other people play and it’s consensual. I like the adrenaline rush, but it definitely makes me miss having a Dom. Why do you like events?” I asked.   
“Similar to you, I like seeing how other people play, I like to get ideas and I find you can learn a lot from talking to other people, both dominants and submissives.”   
“Have you got a submissive?” I asked, the more I talked to Liam and got to know him, the more I became curious. I wanted to let my guard down with him. He seemed like he would be the protective yet strict type of dominant. Someone who would push his submissive to their limit but also respect them.   
“No not at the moment, I haven’t for a while.”   
“Oh, fair enough,” I smiled.   
“Why?”   
“Just curious is all,” I replied before taking a sip of my drink.   
“Curiosity killed the cat, Miss Lucas,” Liam replied with a smirk. 

We finished the rest of our drinks in silence, glancing at one another and smiling. The more I was in Liam’s presence the more I just wanted to kneel beside him. I hadn’t felt that way about a dominant in a long time especially after only being in their presence for such a short time. There a was something about him that drew me in, that made me want to submit to him. 

“A penny for your thoughts Alex?” Liam asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.   
“It’s nothing,” I replied.   
“Tell me,” he smiled charmingly.   
“I’m just curious about you is all. I want to know what kind of dominant you are. At work you seem dominant but you’re also one of the most polite and well spoken people I know and you’re not an asshole and you’re friendly. But you also seem very protective but like you have a strict side. You said before you have a sadistic side. How sadistic are you?”   
“Well it depends how masochistic my sub is, but I’ve been known to be extreme but it’s something I can control and I don’t always need to do. Yes I am a strict Dom. I love rules and rewarding and punishing my sub. I believe it helps them develop as a whole person. I’m also a very protective and caring Dom. I just want what is best for my partner. But I also want a submissive who will be there for me. I prefer my submissive to be my girlfriend. I like having that romantic connection as well, having someone to go home to and debrief about my day. I don’t get that very often with work,” he explained.   
“I totally understand the whole need for a romantic connection, I’m similar. I find it easier to submit to a Dom if we are a couple. There’s that trust there.”   
“It’s not like I won’t do something casual, sometimes that’s easier with work but I do prefer a proper relationship,” Liam replied. I nodded in agreement. 

We went and explored a few more scenes that were going on at the event, and to be honest, the more things I saw, the more intoxicating and tempting I found Liam. As we watched different scenes, Liam had a hand on the small of my back and I would occasionally glance up at him when he wasn’t looking. Or at least I didn’t think he was. We decided to get another drink, but as we walked to the bar, Liam pushed me against the wall suddenly and kissed me, at first he was soft then he bit my lip and kissed me harder. He pulled away and smiled at me.   
“Sorry Alex, I just…”  
I giggled and put a hand reassuringly on his arm.   
“It’s okay Liam, I was feeling exactly the same.”   
“Really?” he asked.   
“Oh you have no idea Liam,” I replied with a smile.   
“Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night and we can talk about this more in depth and somewhere less noisy?” he asked.   
“I’d love to,” I replied.   
“How are you getting home?” Liam asked.   
“I was just going to get an Uber. What about you?”   
“Same, where’s your place? Do you want to share a ride?”   
“I’m in Soho.”   
“I’m in Mayfair, it’s perfect. I’ll drop you off on the way.”   
“Are you sure?”   
“I’m sure Alex. Come on,” he replied.   


I followed Liam to the clock room and collected my clutch while Liam collected his coat. When we got out the front of the club, Liam got out his phone and asked me my address. Within a minute there was a fancy BMW pulled up in front of the club and Liam opened the door for me.   
I slid into the car and buckled myself in then looked out the window, watching the late night lights of London zoom past and thinking about the night.   
“Are you okay Alex?” Liam asked, putting a hand on my knee which brought me back to reality.   
“Y…yeah, I’m okay,” I stuttered. “I’m just tired.” 

When we pulled up at my place, Liam got out of the car first and went around to my door and opened it for me. Once I got out, Liam hugged me and kissed my cheek.   
“I’ll text you about dinner tomorrow okay?” he asked after pulling away.   
“Alright, thanks for tonight Liam. I had fun. It was nice to get to know you better.”   
“Right back at you Alex. Have a good sleep yeah?”   
“I will, thanks Liam,” I replied. 

I made my way up to my apartment and once I got inside the door I took my heels off, flexing my feet which were now aching. I heard my phone buzz in my clutch and I took it out to see a few messages from Niall and one from my Dad but most importantly one from Liam. 

From: Liam Payne  
It was nice to have someone to hang out with at that event.  
I’m looking forward to talking with you more tomorrow about us.  
I definitely wouldn’t mind being your dominant, but think it over tonight.  
x Liam.  


I smiled at Liam’s text and decided not to reply until the morning, keep him waiting. Treat them mean, keep them keen as my Dad used to say to me. I put my phone on the charger in my room then went into the bathroom to wash off my make up and get ready for bed. My mind kept wandering to Liam pinning me against the wall, God that turned me on so much. I was intrigued to see what the next night would bring at dinner. Could Liam Payne possibly be my dominant?


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been a bit delayed with adding chapters to this. I've had a few issues in my personal life. I had an anxiety attack at work and have now had to move back in with my parents and now find a new job. I haven't been in the best frame of mind and didn't want that to come across in my writing too much but please be aware it may in future chapters. Thank you for all the love on this story by the way, it means a lot x

_Dominant, that was the title I had held since I was eighteen. Granted it was a self-appointed title but I liked to think I was a good dominant. I was always committed to educating myself and making sure I did what was best for my submissive. I felt relief when I was able to assert my dominance. It’s a stress relief for me. Sure I am dominant in other areas of my life, especially work. I’m always the responsible one, the one making sure the lads don’t get up to too much mischief, the one who tries to make sure we don’t seem too arrogant and sure of ourselves. I look for a few different things in a submissive and partner. I was always the type to be monogamous and I expected the same from my partner. It had a lot to do with trust for me. I needed to be able to trust my submissive, but I wasn’t the jealous type either. I like for my submissive to be adventurous and social, someone who likes going to events. I like having a submissive who is affectionate and friendly and a romantic. I am a total romantic alongside my dominant personality which is why I like being monogamous and prefer to be in a relationship with my submissive. I wasn’t the type of dominant who needed a contract, but I definitely liked having rules for my submissive._

During the day on Sunday I was trying to distract myself from overthinking dinner with Alex so I spent the day holed up in my home studio doing a bit of song writing. When my alarm went off at five o’clock to remind me to start getting ready, I felt the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I was really nervous about dinner with Alex. I had never mixed work with this side of myself before. I was meeting Alex at six thirty at a little Italian place I knew in Soho. Before my shower I laid out my black jeans and a black t-shirt and my leather jacket.

When my Uber pulled up at the restaurant, I snuck into the restaurant, thankfully there weren’t any paparazzi around yet. I was shown to my table and about two minutes later, Alex walked into the restaurant dressed in a cute little black skater dress and her hair was tied up in a messy bun. I got up and hugged her and pulled the seat out for her and pushed her in.

“How are you Alex?” I asked with a smile.  
“Good thanks Liam, you?”  
“Yeah I’m great thanks. Do you want a drink?”   
“A vodka lime and soda would be awesome,” she replied.  
I waved the waitress over and ordered a vodka lime and soda for Alex and a Bacardi and coke for myself.   
“Have you been here before?” I asked Alex.  
“No it’s my first time, what about you?”  
“It’s one of my favourite Italian restaurants in London. They make the best ravioli I’ve tasted outside of Italy,” I exclaimed enthusiastically. Alex laughed.  
“I guess I’ll have to try it then if it’s that good!”  
“I promise it is as amazing as I say,” I said reassuringly.  
“So, did you enjoy last night?” Alex asked as our drinks were placed on the table.  
“I did, it was definitely an interesting night. Did you?”  
“Spending it with you definitely made it enjoyable Liam,” she replied with a smile before taking a drink.  
“Yeah it was fun. So did you think about what I said last night?”  
“About you being my Dom?” she replied.  
“Yeah.”  
“I’ve never mixed work and this side of myself together before but last night I felt so comfortable with you and I’m definitely curious about playing with you and if it develops into something more I wouldn’t mind either,” she replied.  
“Well I’m all for seeing where things head with us, but I think it’s definitely important we sit and discuss limits and kinks first before we do anything. I’m also big into rules, I hope that’s okay?” I asked nervously yet still trying to sound in control. I knew rules could sometimes be a deal breaker for some subs.   
“Oh I thrive off rules Li, I feel like my job is so relaxed I need structure in other areas.”  
“Good,” I smiled. “Are you just a sub?”  
“I’ve been known to slip in and out of little space occasionally so it’s definitely something I would like to explore more.”  
“Well I’ve been known to slip into the Daddy role occasionally too.”  
“Occasionally? Liam, it seems to be a role you’re permanently in with the lads. You’re always making sure they’re okay and where they need to be and stuff.”  
“Yeah I kind of can’t help it. When you get to know them better you’ll realise Louis and Zayn are very rebellious and have a habit of wandering off and causing mischief. So, one of us has to be in control.”  
“What about Harry and Niall?”  
“Harry and Louis are together and have been since the X-Factor days. They have to be seriously discreet about their relationship though which is half the reason why Louis is so rebellious. It’s honestly not really fair on Harry. Management aren’t keen on the idea. Niall is pretty easy going, as long as he has his guitar and golf clubs he’s happy. He’s usually pretty forthcoming if something is bothering him.”  
“That’s not fair on them. If they love each other they should be allowed to be together with no questions asked.”  
“Yeah it’s disappointing hey? I’ve honestly never seen two people love each other as much as Harry and Louis love each other. No matter what bullshit stories come up, they are still there beside each other. It’s not great for their mental health though, it’s not good for any of our mental health, this life. I hate always being under everyone’s constant scrutiny for petty shit. Maybe that’s why I enjoy the lifestyle so much. It’s one area of my life I have total control. I can choose what happens, who I spend time with and stuff. Sorry I didn’t mean to ramble,” I said apologetically once I caught myself rambling.  
“Liam, it’s fine. I’m happy to listen and nothing ever goes further. I like to think I’m a good listener. Ramble all you want,” she replied with a smile.  
“I don’t get to talk about this side of myself very often so it’s kind of nice to talk about it with someone.”  
“I totally get that,” she answered. “It’s not exactly something you can bring up in every day conversation. Especially for you.”  
“Yeah. So how many actual Doms have you had?” I asked curiously.   
“Three, the arsehole when I was nineteen, a guy I was having a friends with benefits kind of thing with and my most recent ex who I broke up with about eight months ago but he decided a month into our relationship that he didn’t want us to have a Dom/Sub relationship because he thought I relied on it too much.”  
“What a wanker. How long did you stay together for?”  
“A year, it was alright but it wasn’t easy. I hate vanilla relationship and vanilla sex. It’s so boring. Plus his mother had no understanding of the word privacy and he was still living at home so things were always pretty tense and he had absolutely no ambition which is a major turn off for me,” she replied with what sounded like self-assurance in her voice.  
“I know the feeling about being with someone who has no ambition in their lives, you feel like you always have to carry them.”  
“Yes and I worked my arse off to get where I am and I’m not going to waste my time with someone who has no idea where they want to go in life and are more than happy to mooch of me and not do anything in return. I’m sure you know that feeling.”  
“Better than most Alex,” I replied with a smile.

The waitress came back to our table with our drinks and asked if we were ready to order. I already knew what I wanted, their ravioli Bolognese. I looked to Alex to see what she wanted. She hadn’t had much of a chance to look at the menu because we got straight into talking.  
“What are you having Liam?” she asked.  
“The ravioli Bolognese, what do you feel like?”  
“I might try the ravioli too,” she answered with a smile.  
“And we’ll get a margarita pizza to share too please,” I said to the waitress.   
“No worries, we’ll have this out for you soon.”

The waitress went to take our order to the kitchen and Alex took a sip of her drink.   
“So what got you into the music industry Alex?” I asked curiously, as much as I wanted to talk about her being my submissive, I was conscious of other diners overhearing.   
“Well I’ve been playing piano and guitar and taking singing lessons for as long as I can remember. I hated school because I didn’t get much of a chance to be creative, so I looked into sound engineering at tech college and did that instead of finishing high school and then got an internship at Sony and have worked my way up from there. I got into producing thanks to Demi Lovato and Nick Jonas. I got them out of a tough spot one day and they put in a good word for me to the powers that be.”  
“Would you ever go into song writing or even try and get a recording contract of your own?”  
“Not really, I enjoy doing the behind the scenes stuff and I don’t have the world’s greatest confidence in my musical abilities as far as performing in front of people goes.”  
“What about song writing?”  
“I’ve written a few songs of my own but I don’t think anyone would want to pick them up.”  
“You never know until you try Alex. Feel free to flick them Louis and I’s way and we can have a look at them,” I encouraged.  
“Thanks Liam, I appreciate it.”  
“If you could work with my musician who would it be?” I asked inquisitively before taking a sip of my drink.  
“Ed Sheeran or Missy Higgins, an Australian artist. As much as I love Pop music and enjoy producing it, I have a real passion for acoustic music and that simple sound of a piano and guitar. Maybe that’s more of my song writing side coming out. I just feel like a lot of music these days is so overproduced and a lot of artists are scared to strip back their sound and go for something more authentic. I was brought up listening to Bob Dylan and Leonard Cohen and I just find their music so easy to listen to and I wish more mainstream artists would go back to a sound like that.”  
“Ed is one of the most amazing songwriters I’ve ever worked with. I really admire his craft and the way he performs. It takes a lot of guts to stand up on a stage in front of thousands of people with just a guitar, loop pedal and a microphone. I know I couldn’t do it, probably because I’m not good at guitar. I’ve heard of Missy Higgins, but I don’t know her songs. I could introduce you to Ed one day if you like?” I offered.  
“You don’t have to do that Liam. I know he’s not signed with Sony so my possibilities of working with him are pretty slim.”  
“That doesn’t mean you can’t write with him Alex, especially if you decide to purse song writing. You don’t have to write exclusively for Sony artists. You can be freelance in that aspect. Harry has written for a few artists who aren’t’ with Sony.”  
“I didn’t know he wrote songs?” Alex said surprised.  
“Oh he’s a great songwriter, hopefully he will bring one of his songs along this week when we’re back in the studio.”  
“What would you do if you didn’t get into music?” Alex asked.  
“I was either going to be a fireman or a factory worker like my Dad. I’m really thankful I got the second shot on X-Factor though because music really was my first passion. What about you?”  
“I can’t imagine doing anything other than producing or sound engineering or something in music. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”  
“Fair enough.”

The first bit of food that arrived was the pizza. Alex looked hesitant to grab a piece first. I smiled at her and gestured for her to take a piece.  
“No, no you go first Liam,” she replied.  
“No, ladies first Miss Lucas.”

The rest of dinner went by smoothly, we talked music and travel and about the upcoming sessions in the studio. Once our mains were finished, I decided I would ask Alex if she wanted to come back to mine.

“Alex, did you have any plans after this?” I asked.  
“No why?”  
“Do you want to come back to mine and we can talk more in depth about what we originally came here for? I was just conscious of other people listening into our conversation is all.”  
“Yeah sure,” she smiled.  
“Awesome,” I replied before asking a passing waitress for the cheque.   
I saw Alex go into her clutch to get her wallet.  
“I don’t think so Miss Lucas, this is on me.”  
“No way Liam! At least let me pay half.”  
I gave her a knowing look, and she chuckled, “The Dom look won’t work on me yet Payne. Please let me pay half.”  
“No Alex, honestly this is on me,” I reassured her.  
She sighed with a laugh. “Fine.”  
I poked my tongue out at her, “You’ll find I’m very good at getting my own way Alexandra.”  
“Oh god no one has called me Alexandra in a long time. I only ever get that if I’m in a lot of trouble,” she laughed.   
“You might end up hearing it more then little one,” I teased.  
“Me? Causing mischief? Never,” she feigned with a poke of her tongue.  
When we got back to my place, Alex and I went into the kitchen and she sat at the breakfast bar. “Do you want a drink?” I asked.  
“What have you got?” she asked.  
“Vodka, Gin, Bacardi, Rum, Whisky, Scotch, Red Wine, White Wine, Champagne, Beer, Cider, Soft drink, water…” I rattled off.  
“Can I have a Gin and Tonic?” she asked.  
“One Gin and Tonic coming up,” I replied with a smirk.  
“I really like your house,” Alex said as I poured her a drink.  
“Thanks, I’ll give you a tour in a minute.”


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Discussion of rules, limits and likes ahead*

Once we both had a drink, I motioned for Alex to follow me. I took her into my home studio first.   
“So this is where some of my song writing magic happens.”  
“Wow this is really impressive Liam. It must have cost you a small fortune!” she exclaimed.  
“It’s worth every cent though,” I replied with a smile before we went to the next room. “This is my games and media room. I’ve got a PS4, a Nintendo 64, Xbox One. I spend way too much time in here with the boys when we’re all in London.”  
“What made you get a Nintendo 64?”  
“Oh I’ve had it since I was a kid. I don’t play it as much as I used to but a game of drunken Mario Kart is always fun.”  
I had set up the games room with the most comfortable couches I could find, book cases full of games and movies, a bar fridge full of beer, bean bags and black out blinds.   
The next stop was the guest room, then my favourite room in the house, my play room. 

“So this is where I like to think the real fun happens Alex,” I said as I unlocked the door. It wasn’t anything fancy, I had a comfortable bed in the middle of the room, drawers to hide my toys, a St Andrew’s Cross affixed to the wall. I had the walls painted a light grey colour except for one wall which was painted with chalkboard paint.   
“How many subs have you had?” Alex asked.  
“Ten, but only two long term ones. It’s hard to keep up this dynamic when you’re on the road all the time. Plus, I think my sadistic streak and my rules may have scared a couple of them off.”  
“What kind of rules do you have?” Alex asked interestedly.   
“Well we will discuss those when we finish the tour Miss Lucas, but one of my rules is that all the rules have to be written on that blackboard over there. That way you can always see them when you’re in here.”  
“I like that,” she smiled.

We made our way out of the play room and into my room. I had a large king size bed in the middle of the room, a massive TV affixed to the wall and a walk in wardrobe and an ensuite which was more like a wet room with a massive hammock bath and a shower.   
“I love this bathroom Liam! It’s massive,” she said poking her head into the ensuite.  
“I have to say it is one of my favourite places to relax when I’m home especially with music on. The acoustics in there are amazing,” I replied with a laugh.  
We went through the lounge room and then finally back to the kitchen. We had both finished our drink as we were going around the house so I poured us another then grabbed a notebook and pen that I kept in one of the kitchen drawers for whenever ideas come to me or when I need to write something down because I’m always bound to forget. I decided I would discuss the rules I like to have, with Alex so she can make up her mind if she would like to be my submissive.

“You asked what my rules are, would you like to know?” I asked, leaning against the breakfast bar on my arms across from Alex.  
“Please,” she answered with a shy smile.  
“Tell me any one you aren’t comfortable with okay? I can adjust them if need be.”  
“Okay,” she replied.

I began to write the first rule as I explained it.  
“You must always follow the rules set by you and Sir.”  
Alex nodded in approval.  
“You must always treat Sir and yourself with respect. The reason I say you need to treat yourself with respect is, I want you to know that I respect your choices. If you feel unsafe, you need to tell me. I will respect that, and I’ll never ever judge you. Also, treating yourself with respect means not talking down about yourself and taking care of yourself. I naturally worry about everyone as you have seen. That’s my Daddy side coming out. As far as respecting me, when we are playing, you always address me as Sir, Master or Daddy. Whichever you prefer, or whichever fits the scene we are doing. I don’t mind if you call me those outside of us playing, just not in front of the press. I ask that you always use manners and you don’t back chat.”  
“I understand. I like that rule. I like the way you explain it. By including me treating myself with respect means that you care about what I think of myself.”  
“Well we can’t have a dynamic like this if I don’t care about the way you think of yourself.”  
“That’s very true.”  
“My next rule, message, call or see Sir at least once a day just to check in. I like to know what you’re doing. I find what my partner does interesting and it’s a nice distraction from what I’m doing, especially when I’m on tour.”  
“You are to ask Sir’s permission before cumming whether we are playing together or if you are masturbating.”  
“I kind of have a rule for myself that I won’t play without a Dom,” she exclaimed with a blush to her cheeks.  
“Why is that? Don’t you find you get frustrated?”  
“Oh god yeah but it makes it so much better when I do find a Dom. Plus I like my pleasure being for my Dom.”  
“I think we are going to get along just find Miss Lucas,” I replied with a massive grin. I was kind of thankful my crotch was hidden by the breakfast bar because I could feel myself getting hard just from knowing Alex only liked her pleasure being for her Dom.

“If you are being punished you will not complain. If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable of course you may safe word but we will discuss all acceptable punishments. Don’t act like a brat on purpose, if you want something, tell me. If you feel as though you need a spanking or some other form of punishment just tell me and we will talk about it and decide whether it is worth following through with. If you act like a brat on purpose, the punishment will be much worse. Be honest. Use your safe word if you need to. When you are at Sir’s house, you are to kneel beside him or sit on his knee. If Sir is working, you are not to interrupt. Sir’s word is final. Eat healthily and work out with Sir at least twice a week. When Sir is away, send him at least one sexy picture a day. Be yourself, Sir obviously likes you for a reason… so just be you.”

Alex’s Rules  
1\. I must always follow the rules set by Sir  
2\. I must always treat Sir and myself with respect  
3\. Do not backchat Sir  
4\. Always use my manners  
5\. Message, call or see Sir at least once a day to check in  
6\. Always ask for Sir’s permission  
7\. Take my punishments without complaint  
8\. I will not act like a brat on purpose  
9\. Be honest with Sir  
10\. Always use my safe word if I need to  
11\. When I am at Sir’s house I kneel beside him or sit on his knee  
12\. If Sir is working do not interrupt  
13\. Sir’s word is final  
14\. Eat healthy and workout with Sir at least twice a week  
15\. When Sir is away send him at least once sexy picture a day  
16\. Be myself

Once I finished my spiel and writing the rules down for Alex, I looked to her for a response.  
“Is there anything you don’t agree with?”  
“No, I love your rules. Can I ask, if we go ahead with this, can we have a set of little rules?”  
“Of course, do you know what rules you would like as a little?” I asked.  
“Well the one about treating you and myself with respect, not being deliberately bratty, eating healthy, not touching myself without you there, forced bedtime, asking permission to go to the bathroom, you having to pick my clothes when I’m feeling little, no swearing and having to talk to you at least once a day when you are away.”  
“I like those, maybe we can word them in an easier way for little you to understand when you feel like it.”  
“Is it wrong that I really want this with you? I feel like you would be an amazing Dom and exactly what I need, but at the same time I don’t want to jump into it too fast especially since we are working together,” she said really fast before looking down embarrassed about what she had said.  
“Alex, I wouldn’t have asked you for dinner or told you my rules if I wasn’t interested. If you want to do this on a trial basis we can. We don’t have to do anything extreme play wise, but we can see if the dynamic works for us if you want. How does a month trial sound? If you change your mind after that, we can just be friends and there’s no harm no foul. I can keep this separate from work if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s up to you whether I tell the boys about us or not, but please know I am especially close with Niall and Louis and we have a habit of telling each other everything but I’ll tell you if I do. But please know it will go no further than them.”  
“I understand that completely. You can’t be expected to keep everything I total secret. But please know I won’t tell anyone about us during the trial period unless you say I can. I understand how important your privacy is and I totally understand if you don’t want to be seen in public with me in that time either.”  
“I appreciate that Alex. But I would still like to take you places, even if it is to dinner or a movie. I like your company. So what do you think? A month trial? You can decide if you want it to be something more long term before that,” I replied really hoping that she would say yes.  
She nodded then got up and walked over to me and hugged me. “I want this Liam. I really do.”  
I smiled and when she pulled away, I put my finger under her chin and kissed her deeply. When I pulled away she was smiling. “We’re going to have a lot of fun little one. But first, before anything happens, I really need to know your limits. I don’t want to go too far and scare you off. Write them in the notebook for me under the rules okay? I’ll type these all up and I’ll get you to write them on the chalkboard. Put the things you really like too and I’ll be sure to try them with you.”  
She nodded and leant on the breakfast bar to write in the notebook. I stood behind her, watching her.

Hard limits.  
1\. Public sex (not events, just parks etc.)  
2\. Latex  
3\. Public punishment  
4\. Scat  
5\. Blood play

 

Likes  
1\. Choking/ Breath play  
2\. Flogging  
3\. Caning  
4\. Anal play  
5\. Spanking  
6\. Sensory deprivation  
7\. Orgasm denial  
8\. Pet play  
9\. Wearing a collar  
10\. Vibrators (especially magic wands)  
11\. Giving blow jobs  
12\. Fear Play  
13\. Rope Bondage  
14\. Bondage  
15\. Wax Play  
16\. Blindfolds  
17\. Being gagged

Little Likes  
1\. Anything Winnie the Pooh  
2\. Hugs/ Snuggles  
3\. Kisses  
4\. Naps  
5\. Onesies  
6\. Pokemon cartoons  
7\. Disney movies  
8\. Listening to music  
9\. Pacis  
10\. Stuffies  
11\. Cute clothes

When Alex was finished, she turned around and passed me the notebook to look at and looked down at the floor while she waited for a reply. Before I began speaking, I used my finger under her chin to make her look at me  
“If I am speaking to you Alexandra, I want you to look at me okay? Please don’t look at the floor, your eyes are too pretty for that and I like knowing you are listening to me. I totally get the public sex thing, I’m not the type to have sex at events by the way. If we do things at events it will be play, no sex. I’ll never ever punish you in public either, that’s between you and I. I love your list of likes but we won’t take these too far at first okay? We’ll just dabble for a while. Is that okay?” I asked.  
“Yes… Sir.” Alex said. I loved the way that word fell from her lips. It was said in a sultry way, with her lip between her teeth after.   
“What names do you like to be called Alex?”  
“To be honest, I hate Alexandra unless I’m in trouble. I like A, Alex or Ali. But mostly little one, princess, baby girl. I don’t mind humiliation when we are playing but not in general conversation if you get what I mean…” she trailed on.  
“I’m not a fan of verbal humiliation Alex, whether we are playing or not. I find it disrespectful and unnecessary. When we aren’t playing, or we are out somewhere public I don’t mind if you call me Liam or Li. Again, I don’t mind if you call me Sir but not in front of anyone other than the boys.”  
“Yes Sir.”  
“Now I know this has been a lot to take in, so would you like to come and snuggle on the couch and watch a movie?” I asked, I knew discussing rules can be draining and stressful. Plus I just wanted to hold Alex.  
“That would be really nice Liam. What movies have you got?”  
“Why don’t you go into the media room and go and pick one? I’ll make us a bowl of popcorn and get us some more drinks.”  
“Okay, and hey Liam…” Alex said before walking out of the room, “Thanks for giving me a chance.”  
I smiled at her statement, “I would be mad not to Miss Lucas.”  
I watched her walk out the door and let out a sigh. I really liked Alex and felt we had a connection, so for her to say yes even to a trial period was amazing. I wanted her to be mine permanently but we needed to get to know each other more both as friends and also in a dom/sub and even daddy and little dynamic. I wanted to know what could make her submit but also what could make her happy.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry about how long it has been between chapters. Life has been an utter bitch of late and I've been struggling with my writing. I lost my job and my wonderful grandmother passed away just a month after being diagnosed with cancer. She and I were extremely close and I haven't been coping so well and I've been struggling with writing things that don't include the character being in an immense amount of tears.
> 
> I promise I'll try and be more consistent. Please don't kill me for the end of the chapter. Enjoy!!

Snuggling up on the couch with Liam after our discussion was reassuring. Some Doms that I had had a similar discussion with in the past would have the discussion and jump straight into a scene or at least attempted to. I didn’t stay too late, we had to be at the studio at nine in the morning.

The next morning, I’m not going to deny that I put a bit of extra effort into my appearance before work. I straightened my hair, put on a little bit of make up and found my favourite black and white striped dress and my white sneakers.

On the way to the studio I called past one of the bakeries and picked up a few treats for the boys for during the day. I got to work with half an hour to spare so I set up and waited anxiously for the boys to arrive. The first to arrive was Harry and Louis, then Zayn and finally Niall and Liam. I had to admit my heart skipped a beat when Liam entered the room. Liam came over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before sitting beside Niall.

“So, boys, what’s the plan for today?” I asked.  
“I have a track I wrote last night that I want to show you guys and see what you think. But I definitely think we need to start laying down the backing to something,” Niall replied.  
“Play away Ni,” Louis encouraged.

Niall got out his notebook and got his guitar ready and began to play.

__

I'm like a crow on a wire  
You're the shining distraction that makes me fly home  
I'm like a boat on the water  
You're the raise on the waves that calm my mind  
Oh, every time  
And I know in my heart, you're not a constant star

And yeah I’ve let you use me from that day that we first met  
But I'm not done yet  
Falling for you  
Fool’s gold  
And I knew that you turn it on for everyone you met  
But I don't regret  
Falling for you  
Fool’s gold

I'm the first to admit that I'm reckless  
I get lost in your beauty and I can't see two feet in front of me  
And I know in my heart, you’re just a moving part  
And yeah I’ve let you use me from that day that we first met  
But I'm not done yet  
Falling for you  
Fool’s gold  
And I knew that you turn it on for everyone you met  
But I don't regret  
Falling for you  
Fool’s gold

Yeah I know your love’s not real  
That's not the way it feels  
That's not the way you feel

And yes I’ve let you use me from that day that we first met  
But I'm not done yet  
Falling for you  
Fool’s gold  
And I knew that you turn it on for everyone you met  
But I don't regret  
Falling for you  
Fool’s gold, oh oh oh, oh oh oh

I loved listening to Niall sing, he was quite talented and unexpected. He is also a very good guitar player and I personally think the boys should be tapping into that a lot more with their music. When he finished singing, Liam was first to speak.  
“That song needs to be on the album Ni, it’s perfect.”  
“You really think so?” Niall asked.  
“Ni, you’re an amazing song writer, you need to realise that man.”  
“I agree Niall, that song is awesome. Have you figured out who will sing what yet?” Harry asked.  
“No not yet but we can figure it out.”  
“I think we should make this song our focus today,” I suggested. “I know we have other songs that are further along but I think we have a good one here and we might as well go with it.”  
“I agree,” Liam replied.  
“Yeah same here,” Louis and Harry said together.  
“Z, what do you think?” Niall asked.  
“You do whatever,” Zayn replied with a sigh.  
“Z can you please at least attempt to act more interested?” Liam asked with a hint of frustration in his voice.  
“You know how I feel about this Liam.”  
“Well if you’re so fucking over it Zayn then leave!” Liam exclaimed standing up and walking over to Zayn. Zayn stood up and you could tell someone was about to throw a punch. I took that as my sign to give them space. I got up and went to walk out of the studio for a break.  
“If I could leave Liam, I would! It’s called a fucking contract!” Zayn replied with a growl. “I’m so sick of this bullshit.”  
That was the last I heard before I left the room. I can’t handle conflict. I’ve never been able to. It sends my anxiety skyrocketing. I made my way to the studio kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee and took a breather. As my coffee was brewing, Niall came into the kitchen looking upset.  
“Are you okay Ni?” I asked.  
He walked up to me and enveloped me into a hug and began to cry.  
“Shhh, Ni. It’s okay.” I said rubbing his back.  
“Fucking Zayn has to ruin everything,” he sobbed into my shoulder.  
“It’ll be okay Ni.”  
“No it won’t. If Zayn leaves then we can’t keep going. I don’t want One Direction to end. These guys are like my family. I can’t…”  
“Shh, Ni. It will all be okay. It might not seem like it right now, but it will all work out the way it’s meant to.”  
Niall pulled away from our hug and gave me a sad smile. “I have a feeling we might not be getting anything done today.”  
“If we do, great. If not, then it’s fine. I think you guys all need to go home and have a breather away from each other.”  
“I feel like I’m caught in the middle. Liam and Zayn are two of my best friends. I can’t take sides,” Niall replied. I could see his hands shaking.  
“You might not have to take sides Ni. Don’t jump to conclusions.”  
“Blame my damn anxiety, it’s the first thing I do.”  
“Join the club, we have jackets. That’s why I got out of the room so fast. Conflict sends my anxiety sky high.”  
“I’m with you on that Al.”  
“I’ve just made myself a coffee, do you want one?” I asked.  
“Nah I’m okay. I should probably head back in there and see what’s going on. I’ll come back out and get you when I know what’s going on,” Niall sighed.

I watched Niall walk from the kitchen and I felt so sorry for him. I could tell Niall was a sensitive soul, even before today. I went back over to make my coffee, and once it was made I sat on the couch. I got my phone from my pocket and started scrolling through Facebook as I sipped my coffee. Ten minutes later, Niall appeared at the kitchen door.  
“We’re going to call it a day Alex. Sorry to be difficult.”  
“No it’s fine Ni, whatever you guys need to do, do it. We can try again tomorrow.”  
“Thank you for being so understanding Alex.”  
“Whatever you need Ni. You know where to find me if you want to talk.”  
“Liam wants you, he’s just outside having a smoke.”  
“How’s his mood?”  
“He looks like he’s about ready to knock a guy out. I think you might be a welcome distraction,” Niall suggested. I felt my stomach drop. Had Liam told Niall about our arrangement already?  
“What has he told you?” I asked, feeling my face go red.  
“Nothing Alex, he just enjoys your company. But I think you would be an idiot to let a guy like Liam go. The two of you seem to have a connection. I know he likes you and I get a feeling that you like him too.”  
“You’ll just have to wait and see Horan. I’ll go find him. What are you going to do?”  
“I’m going to go home and do some writing. I might go to the driving range later. I’ll give you a call okay?”  
“Okay,” I smiled.  
Niall gave me a hug and kissed my forehead.  
“Catch you later Alex.”

I went to the studio and it was empty. I started packing everything up while I waited for Liam to come back into the studio. As I was shutting down the computers, I heard the door open and I looked over to see Liam leaning up against the door frame.  
“Hi… Sir.” I said quietly. I figured I should get into Liam’s good books especially with what had just happened.  
“Hey,” he said before walking over to me and running his hands through my hair.  
“Are you okay?”  
“Not really, Zayn and I got in a punch up. Louis tried to intervene and got one to the jaw too.”  
“Shit.”  
“Shit exactly. Listen the lads have all gone home and right now I don’t really want to be alone. I don’t trust myself to not go and do something stupid. Can you come to my place? We can watch a movie, maybe even do a scene if you want.”  
“What do you mean by something stupid Li?” I asked concerned.  
“It’s taking all my self control not to go and confront Zayn.”  
“I think the two of you need a break away from each other for a while,” I replied.  
“The timing isn’t great Alex. We’re in the middle of writing this damn album. I know Zayn isn’t interested in being in the band any more, but he can’t just leave. There’s a process. Ugh I just…”  
“Give me two minutes and we’ll go back to yours okay?” I replied looking up at him with a reassuring smile.  
“Can I help with anything?” Liam asked.  
“It’s all good, I’ve just got to shut down the rest of the computers. In the kitchen I’ve got some food that I bought for everyone but seeing as we’re going home we might as well take it.”  
“I’ll go get it. How did you get here?” Liam asked.  
“I drove, I’ll meet you at your place?”  
“I got an uber, can I steal a lift with you?”  
“Of course.”  
“Thanks babe.”  
I smiled and Liam kissed my forehead.

When we got to Liam’s house, we went into the kitchen and had a donut each. I had a laugh at the jam Liam had all over his top lip.  
“What?” he asked with a laugh.  
“You’ve got jam all over your lips.”  
“How are you going to get it off little one?” he suggested with a smirk.  
“Like this,” I replied before getting up out of my chair and kissing him softly then swiping my tongue on his upper lip in an attempt to get rid of the jam.  
I pulled away and saw the jam was pretty much gone. “Mission accomplished!”  
Liam and I laughed and he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight.  
“Thank you for agreeing to keep me company today. I probably would have gone to Zayn’s and made everything worse.”  
“It’s fine Li. I’m happy to just chill for the day.”  
“Let’s finish these donuts and go and watch a movie or something hey?”  
I nodded in agreement before going back to sit down and demolish the rest of the donut. 

Once we were finished, I put the rest of the donuts back in the fridge and followed Liam into the Media room. “What do you feel like watching?”  
“You pick, just nothing too gory or scary,” I suggested as I sat on the couch,  
“Not a fan of horror movies?” Liam asked as he made his way over to the bookshelf full of movies.  
“Not in the slightest, or movies with unnecessary violence.”  
“Really?” he replied looking over his shoulder in surprise.  
“I’m prone to nightmares, so the more I can do to avoid having them the better.”  
“Yet you’re a masochist.”  
“Contradiction I know, but it’s very much a stress reliever for me. I just can’t watch gory stuff is all.”  
“Fair enough. Do you like watching sport?” Liam asked.  
“I was subjected to Saturday school boy sport for most of my childhood thanks to my older brother. I don’t mind Football or Rugby Union though. What about you?”  
“Well this is kind of a well known fact about me,” Liam confessed as he held up a copy of the Fault in Our Stars. I nodded in agreement. “I was up for selection for the 2012 Olympics for the 1500m in Track and Field but I decided to follow the music path instead. I also used to box, I still like getting in the ring every now and then, even if management doesn’t.”  
“What about running? Do you still run?” I asked as Liam put the movie in and turned on the TV.  
“On a treadmill sure, but the fact I took up smoking doesn’t really help. Not the smartest move I ever made.”  
“Probably not,” I teased as Liam sat next to me on the couch.  
“Where in England did you grow up?” Liam asked.  
“I was born in Sheffield but my Dad moved us to London when I was six and my brother was thirteen because my brother got into Harrow on a sport scholarship for Football.”  
“What about your Mum?” Liam asked.  
“My Mum died when I was three, she had cancer.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry.”  
“It’s fine, I don’t know any different. Dad never remarried, but he was incredibly dedicated to Sam and I’s wellbeing and gave us everything he could. He was incredibly supportive of what I wanted to do with music. He’s actually a music teacher at one of the high schools in London but used to play in pub bands when he was at university.”  
“What does your brother do now?” Liam asked.  
“He’s working at Manchester United as a coach for the youth academy. He never quite made it big in Football but he loves his coaching job and he’s worked with some pretty amazing people.”  
“I bet. Are the two of you still close?”  
“We don’t see each other as much as we like but we talk a fair bit. When he comes to London for work we see each other.”  
“Oh cool! You’ll have to introduce me to him one day when he’s in town.”  
“I warn you, he’s the overprotective big brother type,” I laughed.  
“That’s nothing I can’t handle,” Liam teased. “Anyway, let’s watch the movie.”  
“Are you trying to turn me into a sobbing mess?” I replied. “This movie is so sad!”  
“I haven’t seen it yet but I’ve heard it’s a bit of a tear jerker.”  
“A bit?! That’s the understatement of the century!” I contested.  
“Let’s see hey?” Liam replied as he pressed play.  
Liam patted his lap, “Feel free to lie down and put your head on my lap. I don’t mind.”  
I smiled and grabbed a cushion and put it on Liam’s lap so I could lie down.

The start of the movie went past with no tears luckily. As the movie was playing, Liam ran his fingers through my hair. The more he kept doing that, the more I wanted to kiss him. I hated being the one who makes the first move, but everything with Liam felt different. I hadn’t felt this relaxed and comfortable with someone so quickly. I looked up at him with a smile, “You’re going to make me fall asleep if you keep doing that.”  
“At least you’re relaxed.”  
I sat up and leant over and kissed his cheek hoping that he would get the hint.  
Liam chuckled then turned to face me and leant in and kissed me softly, before he pulled away he bit my bottom lip softly.  
“You know you don’t have to ask to kiss me,” he chuckled.  
“I don’t like being the one who makes the first move,” I blushed.  
“What do you want little one?” he asked with a reassuring smile.  
“I’m fine with making out for a while… Sir.” I replied quietly.  
“What did you just call me?” he winked.  
“S...Sir.” I stuttered. Liam raised an eyebrow at me as if to tell me to repeat myself. I hardly ever stuttered when I had a Dom but for some reason I felt so disarmed by Liam. I really liked him and wanted to impress him but at the same time was worried about doing or saying the wrong thing.  
“Sir,” I said with conviction as Liam paused the movie.  
“Why did you stutter Alex?” he asked curiously as he rubbed my arm reassuringly.  
“I… I feel disarmed by you. I want to impress you but I’m so scared of doing or saying the wrong thing and scaring you away.”  
“Trust me, it would take a lot for you to scare me away Alex. Just relax, there’s no rush okay?”  
I nodded in agreement.  
“If you want to play we can, but I only want to do what you’re comfortable with. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to play. I need the stress relief and I want to start learning what makes you tick.”  
“Can… Can we play somewhere that’s not the playroom to start off with?” I asked.  
“Yeah of course, can I go and get a few bits and pieces?”  
I nodded with a smile.  
“Meet me in my bedroom okay princess?” he requested before giving me a quick kiss. 

I waited for Liam to walk out of the room before I made my way to his bedroom. I slipped off my sneakers and knelt next to the bed while I waited for him. As I waited, I fiddled with my fingers trying to figure out what Liam possibly had up his sleeve. The first time playing with a Dom was always nerve wracking. Would they stop if you safe worded? Would they be able to figure out what turns you on? Would you be able to please them? 

I heard footsteps coming towards the room, I looked up and saw Liam standing at the door with some rope in hand, a blindfold and a vibrating wand. He had changed out of his outfit from the studio and into a pair of ripped jeans that showed the band of his Calvin Klein briefs and no shirt so he was showing off his tattoos. I smirked at him. Liam put the rope and wand on his bed. He put his hand out for me and I took it and he helped me stand up. He kissed me softly and then pulled away and looked at me with a knowing look.

“I use the traffic light system for safewords Alex. Is that okay with you?”  
I nodded.  
“Use your words little one.”  
“Yes Sir, that’s fine.”  
“What do they stand for?” he asked.  
“Green means I’m okay, yellow means slow down and red means stop the scene completely and straight away.”  
“I will always stop as soon as you say red okay?” Liam reassured. “If you’re gagged or giving me a blow job, tap me on the arm or leg twice for me to stop okay?”  
I nodded again.  
“Words Alexandra, otherwise I’ll have to give you five spankings. I won’t remind you again.”  
“Yes Sir, sorry Sir.”  
“So my plan for you today is to tie you to the headboard and tease you a bit with this wand for a while. When you’re ready I’ll blindfold you okay?”  
“Yes Sir, that sounds like fun. Do I get to please you Sir?” I asked curiously.  
“We’ll see Miss Lucas,” he replied with a wink. “Dress off.”  
I lifted the hem of my dress and pulled it over my head, leaving me in my black lacy bra and black cotton underpants. I didn’t quite plan for this. Once my dress was off, I wrapped my arms around my stomach instinctively.  
“Hands by your side Alex, don’t cover yourself okay? You’re so incredibly beautiful.”  
“Y… yes Sir.”  
Liam kissed me again before pushing me gently back onto the bed. He nodded in the direction of the headboard to tell me to move back. I kept eye contact with Liam and moved to the back of the bed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should hopefully have the next chapter up by the end of the week, complete with the impending scene. Make sure you comment or kudos! :)


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! I mananged to write some half decent smut. Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments guys. It's been an amazing boost to my self esteem and made me want to write more. Sorry this chapter has taken so long. Be sure to let me know what you think. x

**Liam**

As I watched Alex move to the headboard, I picked up the rope from the bed and made my way to the side of the bed keeping eye contact. I nodded towards Alex’s wrists to tell her to put them out for me. She obeyed, I worked my fingers nimbly to tie her wrists together, I left some rope to be able to tie her wrists to the headboard. Once I did that, I got Alex to test the bonds. We were both satisfied. I straddled Alex’s waist and leant down to kiss her. As we kissed, I ran my thumb across her cheek. I heard her moan into the kiss and smirked.    
  
I pulled away and she whined. I raised my eyebrow at her in warning. “Don’t be greedy little one.”   
“Sorry Sir.”   
“Now little one, I’m going to have a bit of fun with the wand. What is one of your rules?”   
“I… I’m not allowed to cum without permission Sir.”   
“Good girl,” I replied before kissing her quickly then moving off her. I quickly stripped myself of my jeans, leaving just my boxer briefs briefs on. I put my hands on either side of her waist and looked at her to lift herself off the bed so I could take her underpants off. Once her underwear was off, I put the blindfold on her. Sensory Deprivation was one of my favourite kinks. Having your sight and sometimes even hearing cut off can make for the most intense orgasms plus the anticipation of it all is fun.    
  
I got the wand and plugged it into the socket next to the bed and flicked the switch to turn it on. The buzz of the wand filled the room and Alex started to squirm in anticipation. “Lie still Alex. Or I’ll tease you even more.”   
Alex stilled, that was until the wand faintly touched her clit. She bucked her hips up and moaned quietly.   
“Be as loud as you want Alex,” I encouraged before putting the wand on her clit properly.   
“Y...Yes sir,” she moaned out. “Fuck, that feels amazing.”   
“Good,” I chuckled, holding it there and watching Alex react. Her moans echoed around the room.   
“Please Sir… I’m getting close.” she begged.   
“Not yet little one,” I replied.   
“Please… please…” she continued to beg.   
I took the wand away from her clit and she groaned in frustration.   
“You don’t get to cum until I do little one. Frustrating hey?” I teased.   
Alex nodded.   
I coughed in reminder, “Words.”   
“Y...Yes Sir.”   
“Good girl,” I replied before moving above Alex and kissing her softly. She moaned into my mouth and I bit her lip before I pulled away.   
“Hmmm…. What to do with you next Princess?” I pondered, running my finger trips across her stomach, watching it contract under my touch. “I think maybe you should have a taste of me. I’m going to untie you from the headboard but I’m not untying your hands. Understood?”   
“Yes Sir.”   
I untied Alex and told her to kneel up. I helped her move into the position I wanted.  “Tongue out little one.”   
Alex complied. I took my cock from the confines of my boxer briefs and placed the tip on her tongue. I felt her tongue wrap around the tip and I moaned. I felt my cock go further into her mouth. I was careful not to hit the back of her throat at first. Alex sucked and twirled her tongue around my cock, the sensation making me close my eyes.   
“Fuck Alex. That feels incredible. Go a bit faster babe”. Alex followed my instructions without fail. I tangled my hands in her hair, making myself go a little bit deeper down her throat. I felt her gag and attempt to breathe through her nose. I pulled back to let her breathe and I saw her move to try and take me again. I repeated the motion from before and felt her moan around me.    
I became rougher and felt myself getting closer. Alex’s chin was covered in saliva and precum. Right as I was about to cum, I pulled myself out of her mouth and came all over her face and the blindfold. I saw her tongue dart out and swipe some of it off her lips to taste. I groaned at the sight and then kissed her suddenly.   
“God you’re good Alex.” I panted as I grabbed a towel and quickly wiped off the remaining cum off her face.    
“Thank you Sir,” she grinned.   
“I think it’s time for you to get a reward hey? Lie back down princess, arms up.”   
Alex followed my instructions and I tied her back up to the bed and then opened her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs softly and teasingly. I flicked my tongue over her clit, making her buck her hips up and moan.    
“Like that huh?” I asked before sucking on her clit this time, making her squirm. I held her down with my hand on her waist, hoping she would get the picture.   
I continued for a good few minutes, the sound of Alex moaning making me grow hard again. God I wanted to fuck her so bad, part of me wanted to wait and not rush into things, but the rest of me just wanted to have her here and now.   
“Please Sir,” she begged. “Please.”   
“Please Sir, what?” I asked looking up at her.   
“Fuck me please!” she begged, flustered and frustrated.   
“I believe I’m the one who decides when I fuck you…” I teased. “Maybe I want to have some more fun with you. Make you cum without my cock first. What do you think little one?”   
“You decide Sir. You’re in charge.”   
“That’s right,” I replied before reaching over to where the vibrating wand was laying and picking it up and resting it against Alex’s clit before turning it on the lightest vibration. Alex bucked up in surprise and gasped. I chuckled and moved it around a bit, moving away from her clit and near her thigh. Alex tried to maneuver her body to have the vibrations on her clit again. I put the wand down and flipped Alex over onto her stomach.   
  
“You’re getting greedy Miss Lucas. I do recall you saying just minutes ago that I was in charge. So to remind you of that, I’m going to spank you… ten times. And you’re going to thank me after each one and remind me who is in charge. If you forget, I start again. Understood?” I asked sternly, asserting my dominance.    
“Yes Sir,” I heard her muffle into the pillow.    
“Good girl. I’m going to move you onto my lap.”   
I moved Alex into the position I wanted, over my lap while still tied to the bed. I didn’t want to spank her too hard. I remember her telling me she had masochistic tendencies but right now was not the time to test those. A small punishment spanking would suffice for now.   
  
I rubbed my hand on her ass, before spanking her the first time. The first blow came and Alex cried out before thanking me and telling me I was in charge. The next two came in quick succession, Alex remembering her instructions both times. Her ass had a twinge of red to it now and was warm to the touch. I continued the next seven spanks, by the end her ass was bright red on both cheeks and you could see my hand prints. I was well and truly hard by now and craving to finally take Alex for myself.   
  
“You did so good princess. I’m going to take your blindfold off okay? I want to be able to look you in the eyes while I fuck you okay?”   
“Please Sir.”   
I laid Alex back down on the bed and took her blindfold off, her eyes were still closed but she fluttered them open and gradually adjusted to the dim light of the room. I kissed her softly and caressed her cheek with my thumb.    
“I’m going to fuck you nice and hard okay? But if you need me to stop, what do you say?” I asked looking for reassurance from Alex.   
“Red or yellow Sir.”   
“Good girl,” I replied before reaching over to my bedside table and pulling out a condom and putting it on myself. I knew my cock was bigger than average, which I have to admit is great for my ego, but not so great when it comes to having sex with someone for the first time.    
I learnt pretty early on that I needed to take things slow when I have sex with someone for the first time.    
  
I slowly entered Alex, she gasped at the size as she adjusted. Once I bottomed out, I stopped for a minute to let her adjust. “Are you okay?” I asked.   
“Yeah. You’re just… so big Sir.”   
“You’ll get used to it little one, I promise.”   
“You can move Sir.”   
  
I started out slowly then moved Alex’s legs to be over my shoulders and fucked her harder. She moaned continuously, I did as well. There were numerous profanities that came out of my mouth as I fucked her. She felt amazing! She was so tight and wet, you could tell she hadn’t had sex in a while.    
I untied her hands as we fucked and once she was free, her hands tangled in my hair and I fucked her even harder, kissing her as I did. I told her to get on all fours. She complied, I lined myself up behind her, her ass still bright red from her earlier spanking. I entered her slowly again, she dropped her head, making her arse even higher and making her feel even tighter. I gripped her hips and fucked into her hard, I was close but I wanted her to cum first.   
“Please don’t stop Sir. So close!” she exclaimed a couple of minutes later.   
“Cum when you’re ready sweetheart,” I reassured her.   
A few more thrusts later, Alex moaned in thanks multiple times, and I noticed the sheets beneath her became wet. Fuck. She can squirt. Seeing that alone made me follow right behind her, almost collapsing on top of her in exhaustion.    
  
I moved off Alex who was catching her breath so I could discard the condom in the bin beside my bed. I then moved back to the bed and took Alex in my arms and held her, helping bring her down.    
“Are you okay little one?” I asked.   
“Yeah. That was amazing Liam. Damn.”   
I laughed. “Thanks. Do you want a drink of water?”   
“Yes please.”   
“I’ll go get you one. And how does a bath sound?”   
“Perfect, I’m super keen to check out that Hammock bath of yours.”   
“I’ll go and run one now and get you that water. You just relax here.”   
  
I went into the bathroom and began to run a nice hot bath for Alex and I to share. It’s right about now I’m thankful that I invested in such a big bath. I went into the kitchen and grabbed two water bottles from the fridge and took it back into the bedroom and passed it to Alex.   
  
“Thanks Li.”   
“God I needed that,” I replied.   
“I could tell, you know you can spank me harder though,” Alex smiled.   
“I didn’t want to go too far the first time. But I’ll remember for next time.”   
“That’s fair. That damn wand is a total tease though. You could drive me crazy all day with that.”   
“Well I was definitely surprised to discover you can squirt.”   
“Oh… yeah… sorry about that. I’ll change your sheets for you,” she replied embarrassed.   
“Don’t be silly Alex. It’s fucking hot! It’s insanely hot,” I reassured her before kissing her.   
  
“Come on little one, let’s go get in the bath. You deserve it.”


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!! I know I said I was going to update more and I thought I was too but blame damn writer's block. Here's another chapter, be warned there are mentions of anxiety and panic attacks and the beginning of a scene.... enjoy lovelies ;)

**Liam**  
Once we had relaxed in the bath for a good hour, I passed Alex one of my t-shirts and she put her panties back on. We went out into the media room and curled up on the couch together and picked a new movie from Netflix. It didn’t take long for Alex to doze off. As she slept, I tried to focus on the movie but to be honest, my mind was now on Zayn and what had happened that morning.  
  
I decided to check my phone for the first time in a few hours and saw some messages on our group Whatsapp that I figured I should probably read.

**Niall** **  
** We need to sit and talk about what happened today. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of you guys.

 

**Harry** **  
** I’m with you Ni. I vote drinks at Louis and I’s tonight.

 

**Zayn**  
There’s nothing to talk about. I’m just not interested in all this BS anymore

 

**Niall**  
Have you even thought about how this makes the rest of us feel?  
  
**Louis**  
Z there is stuff to talk about. Pass it off as nothing why don't you?   
  
**Zayn**  
Well, clearly we all know how Liam feels about it.

 

**Harry**  
That’s not fair on Liam, Z. Quite frankly I felt like decking you too.

 

**Zayn**  
Gee thanks for the support H. Fuck you.  


**Louis**  
Grow up Zayn. Drinks at Harry and I’s tonight at 6. If you don’t come, I’ll drag you here myself.

 

**Zayn**  
Fine, see you at 6. Nice to see Liam weigh in on all this.  
  
**Niall**  
He could be busy Zayn. Don’t be like that.  
  
**Zayn**  
Whatever.

 

_Seeing the way Zayn spoke about me in the chat made my blood boil. We were meant to be the best of friends. Yes I did punch him but to be honest, he deserved it and Harry agreed with me. It took guts for Niall to speak up about how he was feeling, I knew he was upset about what happened that morning, I mean the poor kid had a panic attack._

 

I checked the time on my phone and saw it was four thirty. I typed and retyped my message until I finally decided on the following message:

 

_Drinks tonight sound like a plan. I know I did the wrong thing punching you today Zayn but you deserved it. You can’t say shit like you did and expect us to stand by and say nothing. Your opinion on this affects all of us whether you think so or not. Ni, I know you bringing this up is a big deal for you and I’m proud of you. See you all at six. Zayn you better be there. FYI, I’ve been busy, not that it’s any of your business Zayn._

 

Once I hit send, I figured I had better wake Alex up so I could get ready to go over to Harry and Louis’ place. I shook her gently and kissed her cheek. “Alex. I need you to wake up babe,” I whispered.  
She gradually started to wake. She looked up at me confused.  
“I have to go to drinks at Harry and Louis’ to talk about what happened today. Sorry, I hate to have to kick you out.”  
“It’s fine Li.”  
“You can crash here if you want but I don’t know what time I’ll be home.”  
“No, it’s fine. I’ll go back to my place,” she replied before getting up and going back into my room to get her clothes and change. I followed behind her and stood at the doorway watching her.  
  
“Today was fun little one.”  
“I enjoyed it too, I needed it. I can tell you did too.”  
“That feels like the understatement of the century. I’m honestly dreading these drinks tonight. Zayn is in a right mood.”  
“I hope it all works out. If you want me to come around when you get home, let me know.”  
“Thanks, Alex. I appreciate it. Thanks for putting up with all our shit today.”  
“Trust me, I’ve seen much worse. I hope you guys get it all sorted.”  
“We will, and we’ll be back in the studio tomorrow.”  
“No, we go back into the studio on Thursday. I have a course on tomorrow and Wednesday.”  
“Oh I didn’t realise. I swear it says we have a writing session tomorrow.”  
“If you do, it’s not with me.”  
“Ah okay, I’ll double check with Simon tonight.”

Once Alex was dressed, I walked her out to her car. I opened her door for her. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.

“Thank you for today, Sir.”  
“Any time Alex. I’ll call you after I finish at Harry and Louis’.”  
“Good luck,” she smiled.  
“Thanks,” I replied before kissing her softly.  
  
Once Alex left, I went back up into the house and quickly cleaned the bedroom up and had another shower before changing into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed a six pack of beer from the fridge and called an Uber to Harry and Louis’.

 

When I arrived, I let myself in and found Harry, Louis and Niall sitting in the kitchen around the breakfast bar.  
“Hey Payno.” Louis acknowledged.  
“Hey Lou. Haz. Ni. Sorry about this morning.” I apologised as I sat next to Niall.

“Nah don’t be sorry, it needed to be said,” Louis replied.  
“I’m sorry you got caught up in the middle of it. Is your jaw okay?”  
“Yeah it’s fine, nothing a bit of ice couldn’t fix.”  
“Ni, are you alright?”  
“I guess. I just hate you guys fighting. I don’t want to take sides.”  
“We’ll sort it all out Ni,” Harry reassured.

“Zayn seems pretty adamant that he wants out. I don’t know how we can convince him otherwise,” Niall replied.

“We’ll see Ni. Don’t think too far ahead. And hey if he does decide to leave, then the four of us will keep going. If Westlife and the BackStreet Boys can do it, so can we,” Louis replied.

“But what about all Zayn’s high notes?”

“Liam can do them and so can Haz,” Louis replied.

“It’ll take a lot of practise but if anyone can make it work it’s us,” I replied reassuringly.

The doorbell rang and I saw the colour drain from Niall’s face. Louis went to open the door for Zayn. I rubbed Niall’s back reassuringly.

 

_I was incredibly protective of Niall. I understood what it was like to be anxious of what people think of you and conflict. I hate hearing people argue, always have and always will but I’m not afraid to stand up for the people I love. Niall is like the little brother I never had and his friendship is incredibly important to me. I was often the one who Niall turned to when his anxiety was bad and I knew the best way to bring him down._

 

When Zayn walked into the kitchen, he had a scowl on his face when he saw me.

“Zayn, I’m sorry about this morning.”

“Save it Liam. At least now I know what you really think of me,” Zayn replied as he stood next to Louis.

“Not of you Zayn, just of the way you are acting. We’re meant to be a team.”

“Well I want out of the team.”

“We have a tour coming up Zayn. You can’t back out now. People have bought tickets and they’re waiting for this album.”

“Why do we always have to worry about everyone else? Why can’t we worry about ourselves? I’m fucking struggling Liam.”

“I know you are Zayn. We all are.”

“My anxiety is killing me Liam. I can’t fucking do it anymore. I can’t do the media bullshit. I’m so sick of my life constantly being in the spotlight and my choices not being good enough for anyone. I’m struggling with performing. My relationship with Perrie is falling apart faster than I can keep track of. I love you guys like brothers but I just can’t do it anymore!” Zayn exclaimed, tears starting to fall.

“Well maybe we talk to Simon about you not doing interviews anymore. We don’t do as many group interviews anymore anyway. We usually pair off,” Louis suggested.  
“I don’t want to let the fans down. I’m not about that. But I just, I don’t know how much longer I can do this for.”  
“Look Zee we finish recording in two weeks. Let’s see how the album pans out and we will go from there,” I suggested.  
“I have nothing to contribute Liam! The songs I want aren’t what we want our sound to be. I can’t put my name to it anymore.”  
“You don’t have to write if you don’t want to Zayn. Just… please,” I begged.  
Zayn pondered for a minute and looked at me sadly, “Fine, but please don’t force me to do things I don’t want to do.”  
“We won’t Zee. We will talk to Simon. Just please hang in there for a bit longer,” Louis reassured him.  
“Please don’t go Zee,” Niall replied with a crack in his voice.  
Zayn went over and hugged Niall. “It’ll be okay Ni.”  
Niall pushed Zayn away, “No it fucking won’t be Zayn! You’re planning on leaving! You guys are like my family. My own brother won’t fucking talk to me without bagging me out to the media. You guys are the closest thing I’ve got to brothers now. You can’t go!” Niall exclaimed, tears falling.  
“I’m not going anywhere for now Ni and even when I do leave, I’ll always be a brother to you,” Zayn reassured Niall with a hand on his shoulder.  
“Whatever,” Niall replied before walking outside.  
“I’ll talk to him,” I told the lads before following Niall.  
  
I found Niall sitting on one of the couches in the outdoor area with his head in his hands. I could see him visibly shaking and could hear him crying.  
I sat down beside him and rubbed his back reassuringly.  
“Shh Ni. It’ll be okay.”  
“No it won’t Li. He’s going to leave.”  
“If and when he does, you’ve always got the rest of us and I’m sure Zayn won’t cut all contact with you. He loves you like a brother. We all love you Ni. We would all do anything for you. You’re the little brother we all wish we had.”  
“I know I’m needy… but I’ve just been hurt so many times and I was hoping this would be different.”  
“Ni, it’s okay to be needy and you are not even close to being too needy.”  
“I just wish I had an outlet like you do. It would probably help so much.” Niall said, his tears starting to stop.  
“It isn’t a quick fix though Ni and you have to find the right dynamic.”  
“Yeah I know. What’s happening with you and Alex? The two of you seem pretty close.”  
“Let’s just say we are exploring stuff together. I ran into her at an event the other day and we hit it off.”  
“That’s awesome Li. I really like Alex, she was really sweet to me this morning when I had my panic attack.”  
“Yeah, plus she’s really easy to get along with and she gets along with all of you guys so that makes it so much easier.”  
“So I’m assuming she’s a submissive,” Niall replied.  
“Yeah and a little. Perfect for me really,” I smiled.  
“Nice, look after her Li. I like her.”  
“I will, don’t worry. Listen tonight, come back and stay at mine. I don’t want you staying on your own.”  
“I’m not going to do anything stupid Li.”  
“I know. Just, let’s spend some time together just the two of us. Debrief anything else that happens.”  
Niall sighed, “Okay.”  
“Don’t sound so excited,” I teased before ruffling Niall’s hair.

  
_Niall and I had had discussions about him being a little in a non sexual sense to cope with his anxiety a few times before. To be honest I didn’t want some random looking after him. I didn’t want him getting hurt. I had offered to be his Dom but he didn’t want it to impact our friendship. As Niall and I were talking, I had a thought that maybe I could ask Alex if it was okay if Niall joined our dynamic just as a non sexual little. I could tell they got along when we have all been together and it might help him to know he’s got two people he can lean on._

 

Once Niall felt he had settled down, we went back inside and got a drink each. Louis and Zayn were now playing FIFA and Harry was watching and mucking around on his phone.  
“Are you okay Ni? I’m sorry for upsetting you,” Zayn apologised as Niall sat beside him on the couch.  
“I’ll be fine.”  
  
The rest of the night went much smoother than the beginning. At about ten o’clock headed home with Niall and I messaged Alex to check up on her.

 

**From: Liam Payne** ****  
_Hey Alex. Just checking in._  
_Are you okay?_ _  
_ X Li.

 

**From: Alex Lucas** ****  
_I’m okay. Today was heaps of fun._ _  
_ _How did things go with you and the guys?_

 

**From: Liam Payne** ****  
_Not brilliant. Poor Niall isn’t taking it to well._  
_Hey tomorrow morning do you want to grab a coffee before your course?_  
_X_  
  
**From: Alex Lucas** ****  
_Give him a hug from me._ _  
_ I start my course at 9, so how does coffee at 8 sound?

 

**From: Liam Payne**  
_Perfect. I’ll flick you the address of my favourite coffee place near mine._ _  
_ _See you in the morning. X_

 

Niall and I went into the media room and turned on the sports channel and watched some Football replays and had a few more beers together.  
“Listen Ni, this stuff with Zayn isn’t going to disappear as much as I wish it would. I know we talked about it at Harry and Louis’ but I think it is really important for us to prepare for the day he does decide to call it quits. I want you to know, I’m not going anywhere. Nor is Haz and Lou. We will still be your family.”  
“You said that before.”  
“I know, but I just want you to know okay. You really are like my little brother. I would do anything to protect you.”  
“Thanks Li. I do appreciate it, I swear.”  
“I know Ni. I know.”  
  
The next morning, I dropped Niall back at his place and then met Alex at my favourite coffee shop near my place. When I got there, she was sitting at a table towards the back of the shop, her hands wrapped around a takeaway cup. I quickly ordered my own coffee and made my way over to where Alex was sitting.  
  
“Good morning little one,” I said as I sat down.  
“Hey Li. Sorry I wasn’t sure what kind of coffee you like.”  
“It’s okay. Future reference, a long black.”  
“Easy,” she smiled. “How was last night?”  
“Intense. I’m really worried about Niall.”  
“Why?”  
“He’s really not coping with the idea of Zayn not being in the band anymore. If you couldn’t tell from the other day, the five of us are a very tight knit group. Niall is the only one out of the five of us with a brother but his brother has been a right arsehole. The five of us say we are the closest we have to brothers and that bond is super important to Niall.”  
“I understand that. Poor thing.”  
“Yeah. Enough about my stuff. What’s your course about today?”  
“Just on some new software the powers that be want us to use. Thankfully it’s not a full day but it’s six hours so it’s long enough.”  
“Damn that sucks and tomorrow?”  
“Tomorrow is a couple of hours of using the software then meetings. Bring on Thursday when we are back in the studio. What are you guys up to today?”  
“I’m doing a bit of writing and then I’ve got a meeting with Simon to discuss what is going on with Zayn.”  
“That didn’t take you long.”  
“I organised it yesterday just after all the shit went down in the studio. I’m not looking forward to it but hey it has to happen.”  
“Yeah fair enough.”  
“Do you want to come over to mine tonight? Play a bit?” I asked.  
“Yeah I’d like that.”  
“Stay over tonight too okay?”  
“Yeah of course,” she smiled.  
“Perfect, I’ve got some plans for you little one.”  
  
Once we finished our coffees, I kissed Alex goodbye and watched her leave the coffee shop and go about her day. I made my way back to my car and went back home.

 

Later in the day, I had my meeting with Simon, to say he was unreasonable is the understatement of the century. I know he is responsible for our success but he also treats us like absolute shit. I had managed to get him to agree to Zayn doing less promotional work and not doing interviews for now but he said eventually he would have to. When I got home from the meeting, I had a nice long hot steaming shower, shaved and changed into a pair of jeans and a black tank top and set up the playroom with what I had in mind for Alex.

 

About half an hour before she was meant to arrive, I got a text from Alex as I was putting together a Spotify playlist.

**From: Alex Lucas** **  
** _What would you like me to wear… Sir?_

  
**From: Liam Payne** ****  
_How about that outfit you wore to the event the other day?_  
_If you have some nice lingerie maybe that too._  
_As soon as you walk through the door, all rules apply._ _  
_ X

 

_I love the build up to a scene, especially when I feel riled up and I need a release. Tonight I was looking to test Alex’s limits more. The night before was me being a tease, it was all about Alex. Tonight, I wanted to see what she could do for me. I was keen to see how well she could follow her rules. I wasn’t going to jump straight into sex, but I knew that could be the end game. Part of me was hoping Alex would break a rule or two so we could figure out what punishments work._

 

Twenty minutes later the intercom drew me out of my thoughts and I made my way out to the front gate to greet Alex. I opened the gate to find her standing there in the black dress she had worn to the event, the pair of heels she had on that night and a subtle bit of makeup on her face and bright pink lipstick on her lips and her hair was straightened.  
  
“You look incredible Alex,” I complimented before I kissed her softly.  
“T...thank you Sir,” she stuttered as she pulled away. I noticed she was shaking a little, it wasn’t cold.  
“Are you okay Alex?” I asked rubbing her shoulder reassuringly.  
She nodded before looking down at the ground.  
“Alexandra, one of your rules is to be honest with me. Seriously, are you okay?” I asked again, closing the gate behind her.  
“I… I had a panic attack before. I’m fine now, I promise.”  
“We’re not jumping into anything until you’re ready okay? I was thinking a few drinks and listening to some music.”  
“I don’t mind jumping straight into it Sir. I… I actually prefer it. I need to get out of my head for a while.”

  
_I understood using submission as an escape from anxiety. I used my dominant side for that too, but it can be risky, especially when you’re still getting to know your partner. I still didn’t know Alex’s triggers and I didn’t want to accidentally induce another panic attack._

  
I lead Alex back into the house and we made our way into the kitchen. I figured it was better to continue the conversation inside. I poured Alex a Gin and Tonic and a Scotch for myself. As soon as I passed Alex her drink she was on her knees in front of me.  
“Stand up Alexandra. I know I said rules start when you walk in but I need to talk to you first,” I requested before putting my hand out to help Alex up. I motioned for her to sit on one of the bar stools.  
“Alex. I know you want to play tonight and I do too. But if you’ve had a panic attack, I don’t want to trigger another one. I don’t know what your anxiety triggers are.”  
“Y… You won’t Sir. I’ll be okay.”  
“What brought on the one you had before?” I asked.  
“I was worried about tonight,” she confessed. “I’m so worried I won’t be able to be the kind of submissive you want.”  
“Oh Alex, please don’t ever worry. I know it’s easier said than done but we are still getting to know each other. If you don’t want to play tonight, we don’t have to. We can just snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.”  
“No, I want to. Please,” she asked with a pleading look in her eyes.  
“Alright but don’t forget if you need to safe word…”  
“I will, I promise. Green for okay, yellow for slow down and red for stop,” she recited without prompting.  
“Good girl, now where do you need to be?” I asked with a smirk before Alex knelt beside me without another word.

 

**A/N: By the way, this is what I vision Liam looking like that night with Alex, and also this is the vision I have for Alex in my head.**

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for the rest of the scene!! Give me a couple of days (I've got 2 3000 word essays due by next week for Uni) but I've got so many ideas...


End file.
